Giving Thanks

The economic times have hit most of us and we're all adjusting to living on less, trying to make ends meet, and still save a little bit for a rainy day. I've been trying to teach Josie about the value of money and differentiating between Needs & Wants. We don't have a lot of 'things' and at her age, that really doesn't seem to matter. She LOVES getting hand-me-down clothing & toys from friends & family and knows the joy of seeing a yellow Sale tag on her favorite lunch snack or cereal at the store because we rarely buy things without that yellow Sale tag.

Josie's a great shopper: she loves to look & touch but rarely asks if we can buy something because she knows the answer without asking. She likes to earn quarters for helping me with chores around the house & when she does earn money or receives money for birthdays/holidays we put 1/3 in her piggy bank to save for something large that she wants to buy, 1/3 in her wallet that she can spend however she wants, and 1/3 goes to her Savings Account at the bank. When she has to spend her own money on things, she's much more thoughtful about the purchase. She is already beginning to understand that an item at the dollar store = about 4 chores around the house.

September was a very long month because it was the first month that my paycheck was reduced by the 10% contract that I lost due to budget cuts this year, in addition to a furlough day, and increased health premiums coming out of my paycheck. In my determination to live within my once a month paycheck, I was struggling to make it through the month after all of those Back To School expenses, various Field Trip fees, Spirit Wear checks, & supporting those school fundraisers. Proudly, we had survived nearly to the end of the month without touching my tiny savings account but we were out of shampoo, bar of soap, and I needed bread for Josie's lunch.

I knew I had $23 left in my checking account so I told Josie we'd stop at Target on the way home to get the 3 items on my list. I prepared her before going into the store that I had NO money for her to pick out anything at the dollar section and that this was going to be a quick in/out trip. She was fine with that until she realized that she had her Pink & Black wallet in her backpack. She quickly yanked it out and counted her dollars/change and told me she had $14.86 and asked if she could buy something with her own money. I told her she was welcome to look at the toy section but reminded her that I would NOT be adding any money to her stash.

We quickly grabbed the 3 items on my list and headed for the Toy Section. She had stars in her eyes and was clutching her Wallet tightly as she skipped through the aisles. We ended up walking up and down 3 aisles over and over for about 45 minutes as she collected various items she liked & told me stories of how she'd play with each item or why she thought each item was special. Her favorite & most cherished item was some Lego Thing that was $19.99 and she was pretty disappointed that she couldn't afford it. She kept asking me if she was taking too long to decide and apologized for not making a quick decision but I told her I was proud of her for taking her time and really thinking carefully about how to spend her money. She figured out that while she 'wanted' the items she could afford, she didn't want them as badly as she wanted the Lego Thing. She also figured out that if she saved for a few more weeks she might be able to come back later and buy the Lego Thing. After 45 minutes of debating and re-calculating her money, she finally decided to buy NOTHING so that she could save her money until she could afford the Lego Thing. She sweetly thanked me for waiting for so long while she decided and happily went to the check out so we could buy the three items we needed.

As we were getting in our car on a balmy 102 Fresno September afternoon, I heard some grunting noises and my head automatically turned to make eye contact with one of two homeless men meandering down the parking lot aisle. The grunting was coming from a younger man who appeared to be disabled. The older man immediately stopped and said, "We'll stop right here. We don't want to frighten you. We haven't eaten since Saturday (it was Tuesday) and I really need to feed him," as he pointed at the younger man. Josie heard it and whispered, "Why don't they have any food? Mom, they are so dirty."

The older man asked if I had any food in my car that I could share with them and Josie was still whispering questions, "Can't they go home and get food? What's wrong with them?" I knew I had enough money left to buy them each a sandwich at Quizno's across the way and quickly realized that as tight as my month was financially, we were much better off than these two men. I told them to meet us across the parking lot so I could buy them dinner.

As we drove across the parking lot I had a quick conversation with Josie about what it means to be Homeless & talked with her about the many reasons that people end up losing their jobs, homes, & possessions. I told her that we'd buy them sandwiches to help them out. When we got to Quiznos, the older man opened the restaurant door for us and the odor was pretty strong and Josie clung to my hand tightly. The younger man was so excited & was squealing and ran and grabbed a bag of cheetos and looked at the older man and asked something unintelligible. The older man gently took it from his hand and placed it back on the rack. I decided right then that the younger man must get those cheetos. I told them to order their combo meals and also purchased a bottle of water for each of them because it was 102 and horribly hot that day. Josie watched everything quietly.

When we got to the counter to pay for their meals, I got out my debit card to pay but Josie quickly pulled out her wallet and said, "I'm going to buy it for them, Mom. I think I have enough money." Turns out, the meals & the water came to just under $14 and I let her pay, knowing that she had truly understood the difference between Want/Need.

I left there with tears in my eyes as the older man held the door and said, "Thank you and bless you and your daughter. I promise to pay it forward to someone else as soon as I'm able."

As we got in the car, Josie had more questions, "Where will they sleep? Isn't it too hot to live outside right now? Can we go home and get our tent and give it to them? Where will they take a bath tonight? Why don't their moms and dads help them?" I tried my best to answer her questions and also tried to explain that there are issues that money can't fix. So much to try to explain to a seven year old.

In the end, she told me that she was really glad she didn't buy the Lego Thing or any of the other little toys because she didn't need the toys and those men needed dinner.

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I'm so aware of all that we've been blessed with: loving family & friends, everthing we need (including our good health), and most of what we want. I'm so thankful for my compassionate & full of life daughter and the experiences that we share.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Why I despise Sprinklers: a photo essay

Really, are any words necessary?

Cat Lrning (In Honor of National Day on Writing)

I was reminded that today is National Day on Writing and my good Mid-Western German-Catholic Work Ethic that I was raised to value won't allow me to slumber tonight unless I post something on my blog. After helping my sassy seven-year-old-going-on-thirteen daughter with homework, I figured it's only fair that she should, in turn, help me with posting on my blog. Therefore, with her nervous permission, I'm going to re-print two entries from Josie's spiral notebook journal. In order to keep her post honest, I will not be editing or revising her delightful writing.

Cat Lrning

When cats are born there eyes are clossed. Cats are very smart. They are very good hiders. The mom cats have babys. The dad cats take cear of them. The dogs chashs the cats. I love cats.

bog Lrning

Dogs are smart just like cat.

When bogs are born there eyes are clossed.

(both entries reprinted with permission from Josie)

Bedtime was a little exasperating tonight after fighting about dinner & homework & picking up dirty clothing from someone's bedroom floor. She could hear the strain in my voice as I asked her for the 3rd time to brush her teeth. She walked past me in the hall with the sweetest, most innocent smile on her face & said, "Someone needs a kiss and a hug. Let me help you out with that, Mom." How did she know that kiss & hug would make it all better?

Finally, after a long day of juggling Life as a single mom, I can finally go rest since I completed today's obligations. Props to Josie for sharing her writing in honor of National Day on Writing. Life experiences with cats and dogs provided the inspiration for today's magnificent piece.

Josie Quips

It's finally cloudy and a bit drizzly in Fresno today, which seems like a perfect excuse to do something cerebral instead of tackling the To DO List that hasn't been touched all weekend. Yesterday I blamed it on my barometric-pressure-induced-migraine (but I DID get a load of school work done while watching Scooby Doo with Josie). Somehow, fate or karma decided I needed this weekend to slow down.


I just wish Fate could convince Josie that we're slowing down. She's already written two songs & has plans for creating a cardboard village that she wants to make using mini-marshmallows & toothpicks & beads. I have a feeling I'll be teaching her how to use the attachments on the vacuum cleaner before the day is over.

Josie's only had a few sleepovers and so far, she hasn't made it through the night at a friends' house since Maya & Sage moved to Massachusets. As soon as night falls, she's pretty sure she needs her mom or dad & asks to go back home. She enjoys having friends sleep at our house but even the slight change in the routine makes her a little weepy at bedtime. I'm sure she'll eventually work it all out but I kind of like the fact that Sleepover Days are still pushed to the future. A few weeks ago, however, she and a friend had been playing all afternoon at our house and asked if they could have a sleepover so the fun wouldn't have to end. Jessie's mom agreed and we made a pact that if there were any tears or fears, we'd drive Jessie home, no matter what time of the night it became necessary.

To my delight, the tears & fears never happened and I slept pretty soundly. Second Grade Sleepovers are pretty mild. There was pizza for dinner, Scooby Doo on the DVD, and Speedy Whiskers, the rat, seemed to love the attention he received. At about 9 pm the girls started yawning and when I suggested it was time to get ready for bed, they were eager to crawl under the covers. The closet light had to stay on but they were soon asleep with only minimal giggles & fake snoring.

In the car the next day, they insisted on listening to Kidz Bop Christmas Music as loud as my car stereo would allow. They shouted loudly with the music in between giggles. At one point Josie said, "Jessie, we're just like twins! I know you have brown skin & black hair and brown eyes & I have peach skin and brown hair & green eyes but we both laugh at the same stuff so we're just like twins!" Without hesitating Jessie said, "Yup, we are twins. We laugh at the same stuff and we like the same pizza and that definitely means we're twins."

If only our nation could adopt that kind of logic!

Last week Saturday I got a call from Josie late in the evening. She was whimpering and in between deep sighs she asked, "Mom, can I stay at your house tonight?" I told her that her dad had been out of town for so many nights that he was missing her and really wanted her to stay at his house. "But Mom, I don't like what he's serving me." (insert whine & sobs) What is Daddy feeding you, Josie? "Oh, he's NOT feeding me anything. He's trying to serve me mushy carrots but I'm not eating them." Josie, you need to try the carrots, they're good for you and your body needs vegetables to grow strong & healthy. "But Mom, they are so squishy and I just can't put them in my mouth. And he says I have to eat two of them." If you put them way in the back of your mouth and chase it with water, you won't even taste them. Really, you're making a big deal out of this and if you just do it quickly, it'll be all over with. "Oh, Mom..." (add drama and crying and whimpering) "I'm going to put my dad on the phone and you tell him that you're coming over to pick me up, okay?" Before I could decline, she handed the phone to her dad and he and I both laughed.

The next day I called to see how the Carrot Drama was resolved. Turns out she told him she ate the carrots and when he glanced at her plate, they were indeed gone. The next morning when he was cleaning up the dishes in the sink, he discovered the carrots hidden under the rice on her plate. So when she asked if she could have a play date with her friend, David, his response was, "Did you really eat the carrots on your plate?" She sheepishly realized she'd been caught and said, "No." And her dad responded with, "Then there's your answer to whether or not you can have a play date."

Josie understood the lesson. On Monday after school she told me all about it and said that she should have just swallowed those carrots instead of lying about it. "Two whole days were ruined when I could have just swallowed them and then thrown them back up really fast."

On Friday, Josie's teacher had Arts in the Classroom Training to attend so their class had a substitute teacher. The substitute teacher was a very sweet, white-haired lady and when the other teacher on our wing & I spotted her, we were a little concerned about how she'd manage the more challenging 2nd graders that she'd be dealing with throughout the day. I went across the hall and assured her that if she had any problems, she could call me or send me students that needed some time out or an alternative place to work. She reassured me that she has a very commanding style & she uses her tone of voice to capture their attention and while I believed her, I had my doubts about how she'd capture the attention of a few particular students. I checked in on her throughout the morning to see how things were going and was pleasantly surprised to see that for the most part, the students were trying to be attentive.

When I asked Josie about the day, she gave me her critique honestly. "Well, Mom, she was this old lady like a grandma. She called some people 'Young Man' or 'Young Lady' and my feelings hurt for those people. But I was really trying to be good so that she wouldn't have to call me a 'Young Lady'. Only 3 kids were naughty because they were kind of mean to her because she was really old. I thinky they probably don't like grandmas or they thought she wasn't smart about the rules. But she was pretty smart about rules and I think she could hear pretty good, too. I kind of liked her."


It's time to wrap up the Josie Stories and drive her to the store to get more mini-marshmallows for the vacuum to "eat" later this afternoon. Afterall, we've been waiting for a rainy day since April...don't want to waste the opportunity to be slovenly!

Jumping Jacks are the Hardest Thing

We've been back at school for almost 2 weeks and summer already seems like a distant memory. Josie just started 2nd grade & I began my 23rd year of teaching and we're both loving it! We aren't thrilled about the early start to our routine or the August Heat but things are going well, especially since our classrooms have working AC at the moment! (Back to School Night was conducted in sweltering classrooms with NO AC that registered 98 degrees indoors--not very aromatic introduction for new parents.)

Josie's now seven (in legal terms, I've heard this referred to as the Age of Reason) but her logic & observations continue to delight me. Although, there are those brief moments when I wish for quiet and solitude instead of listening to her constant chatter. I quickly remind myself that it won't be long before she'll hit those pre-teen sullen/silent years so I put my Listening Ears back on so I don't miss out on Josie's Wisdom.

During the final weeks of summer we were busy with Play Dates & Water Park Visits & trips to the coast to escape Fresno's Summer Heat. She also spent a lot of time with her friend, David, swimming in his pool, hanging out with him at her Dad's house, & enjoying Game Night with his family. I tried several times to invite him to our house for a Play Date but each time I suggested it, Josie vetoed the idea. After several suggestions, I started wondering if she didn't want David to see our "old" house so I asked her directly, "Why is it that you don't want David to come to our house?" Her response was honest: "Mom, I have a lot of Girl Things at our house. I don't want David to know I have so many Girl Things so it's easier to play with him at Daddy's." I suggested that we could pack up the Girl Things and give them away or hide them in my bedroom. She pondered that for a moment and said, "Yes, that might work but we can't give away my Polly Pockets yet." (Darn it!)

Speaking of "Darn It", Josie has an ongoing fear of Flushing Toilets. She cringes at the sound at home every time a toilet is flushed. But, she's downright fearful of those Sensor Toilets in Public Restrooms because she has figured out that those are extremely LOUD & they often flush while she's still sitting on the toilet. I think she suffers PTSD due to Sensor Toilets. Needless to say, at home she rarely flushes the toilet and her bathroom visits are followed by these questions, "Did you wash your hands & flush the toilet?" These questions always result in an About Face Run to the bathroom to remedy whichever task she forgot. A few weeks ago, on one of those dreadfully hot Fresno days, I was putting laundry away and heard Bentley lapping up water out of the toilet. My mind flashed & I ran to the bathroom to find Bentley drinking out of an unflushed toilet and was completely grossed out. I yelled, "DARN IT! Josie---you have GOT to start flushing the toilet without any reminders!" Sensitive Josie sulked into the bathroom with tears in her eyes & whimpered, "Mom, I can't believe you just 'Darnded' at me. That hurts my feelings." After a calm discussion & a demonstration of what Poor (Disgusting) Bentley had just lapped out of the toilet, I think she remembered to Flush for at least 24 hours.

Now that I'm teaching the same grade that Josie attends, I get to see her quite a bit throughout the day. I love this & so far, she seems to think it's pretty neat that she can call me "Mom" while everyone else calls me "Ms. Severt" (although, I hear "Josie's Mom" just as often as I hear "Ms. Severt). I'm definitely NOT a model of Physical Education and it's laughable to think I'd know the first thing about teaching PE but in California, elementary teachers are the sole instructors of Art, Music & PE. (Scary to think I have to instruct/model any of these 3 subjects, huh?) Our Second Grade Team of Teachers has a system for PE. We begin the year teaching all of our 120 2nd graders to line up like the Football Team and we do exercise & warm up drills, counting off like drill sergeants. We follow that by a lap or two around the track, walking in the heat & jogging if the weather is tolerable. Once our kiddos have the Warm Up Routine under their belts, we'll begin teaching skills of popular recess games: soccer, basketball, hoola hoops & hopscotch. This is a much different routine than Josie's PE experience in first grade where they played things like Roller Ball or Jump Rope or parachute. After the first week of PE (Ed Code requires 100 minutes of PE per week), I asked Josie what she thought of 2nd Grade PE. She sighed heavily, "I'm not liking it so much. When do we get to do the fun things like throw balls at each other?" I promised her that we'd start the Fun Stuff soon but tried to focus on the positive aspects of Exercising. "Which Warm Up Exercise do you like best, Josie?" "I don't know, but I can tell you which one I DON'T like the most: Jumping Jacks! My arms are close to my brain so they seem to understand what to do but my legs are so far away from my brain that they don't do the right thing. Jumping Jacks are the hardest thing about 2nd grade, Mom."