Travels with Josie

We are finally back into our routine after a THREE week winter vacation (heaven!) that was preceded by a windfall-surprise-visit from my niece, Kala, during the week of Thanksgiving break, followed by the 9 Sleep Holiday with Grandpa! It feels like we've had an entire month of celebrations, tours, and memory-making. We enjoyed every single moment and it just makes us miss our far away family & friends even more.

Whenever we have visitors it's only natural to take tours of this amazing & diverse state where we are fortunate to live. I made a promise to myself when I moved here that I would NOT take the proximity to the ocean & mountains for granted and I vowed to make a trip to one or the other at least once a month. So far, I've only missed 5 out of the 102 months I've lived here. Not too shabby. I've explored many amazing places and keep returning to our favorites while trying to have new experiences whenever possible.

In the last 4 years I've put about 45,000 miles on my car and Josie has been with me for nearly all of them. We have great conversations & share all kinds of personal secrets as we scoot along the highways and interstates.

"Are we almost there?" "This looks like a good place to pee in the grass, don't you think?" "Are we almost there?" I'm not pulling out until you buckle up." "I have to go, Mommy." "Can we sing something other than Hannah Montana?" "Oh gross! Bentley just frew up all over the seat! I want out!" "No, we don't need another Happy Meal." "Are we almost there?" "See if you can count 100 red cars!" "Mom, Bentley keeps wagging me with his tail!" "Ewwww...I smell skunk and I don't like it, Mom!" "Are we almost there?" "I spy with my little eye..."

I've listened to countless songs by Hannah Montana, Raffi, Jack Johnson, & endless High School Musical, longing for the day when I can get her an iPod with earphones. Still, the long car trips have been worth it so that we can explore, hike, camp & play in the beautiful places that surround our home, not to mention the opportunities to escape Fresno's intense heat or smothering fog. And I DO love my alone time with Josie. She's entertaining & full of spirit & she always makes me smile. Even when I'm annoyed with her whining.

Last week on the way home from our trip to Point Lobos State Reserve (just south of Carmel on Highway 1) Josie introduced me to a new car game she calls "If I...." We each took a turn coming up with a new "If I" sentence starter and then we listed our grand ideas.

Here are some of my favorites that Josie shared:

"If I could be an animal I'd be Pretty Bird because she is beautiful & sings so sweetly."

"If I could fly anywhere in the world, I'd go see my cousins and eat pickles and catch fireflies."

"If I had a piggy bank full of quarters, I'd go see Maya & Sage."

"If I could be anything in the world when I grow up I'd be your Josie, Mom."

"If I could live anywhere in the world, I'd live with Nikki & Robert and their whole zoo!"

"If I could be a fairy, I'd sprinkle everyone with Laughing Potion and then watch them laugh."

"If I could go on a train trip I would want Grandpa to go with me because he loves trains."

"If I could be anywhere right now, I'd be home snuggling Bentley."

I love that she has the ability to dream! I like this game far more than other Travel Games we've played and I know she liked it, too. She was pretty disappointed when we finally reached home and quietly asked, "When's our next trip, Mom?"

Weddings & Morals & National Day of Writing

I have never heard of National Day of Writing until my neighbor & friend, Kathee, started spreading the word a couple of weeks ago. She was also the person who encouraged me to start a blog a year or so ago to record Josie quips or photos so that our long distance family & friends can keep up with our day-to-day lives. I decided I'd better post something today to honor such a special Day of Writing.

Normally my obsessive thoughts or curious predicaments or Josieisms or my attempts to analyze my choices inspire me to type a post but today my mind is blank. I'm still recovering from a long weekend in Houston to attend my cousin's wedding & to see Josie debut as a flower girl. Perhaps there's a post I can carve from the lessons learned this weekend.

When you're looking forward to an event for over six months, there are bound to be some disappointments along with extreme anxiety. Josie's been talking non-stop about being a flower girl & started counting the sleeps somewhere around 70 Sleeps to Go. We've been taking care of little tasks for the past month to make sure her Costume was ready: fitting at the seamstress to make alterations to the beautiful flower girl dress, a scary trip downtown to Sunnyside Department Store to find ballet slippers, a thorough search for the perfect Flower Girl Up-Do hairstyle, shopping for hair clips to accent the Up-Do, finding plastic jewelry that would be appropriate to wear to a fancy wedding, selecting bling for the reception flip flops, finding an acceptable Rehearsal Dinner outfit, packing our gear to minimize our checked baggage fee, writing sub plans since school days would be missed, struggling through the final 4 sleeps when Josie could hardly contain her excitement and couldn't fall asleep & the final push to the airport. Let me tell you...life is much simpler when I travel alone. (But also less entertaining, I suppose.)

The wedding turned out to be beautiful but the pictures I took did not turn out well, probably due to my shaking hands & my bloodshot tired eyes. Bummer. I think I started snapping photos just to keep my hands off of Josie & my mind focused on something other than her constant whine. Actually, I think some of those whiny moments were somewhat Tantrumish and humiliating. Very humilitating. But, as Diane pointed out on Monday...these will be stories to laugh about someday. Maybe I'll read this a few weeks or months from now & laugh instead of cringe.

Scared Flower Girl Faces as they listened to strict instructions from Sissy, The Wedding Planner from Hell

My lame attempt at styling Josie's hair since she refused to go to her Hair Dresser's Appointment. Anyone who knows me, knows that Hair Styling is a serious Deficit in my Book of Talents.

In retrospect, I know that a fancy Catholic church wedding ceremony in the middle of a downtown city after an 8 hour day of traveling into a different time zone was NOT a good idea for a six year old during a short "long weekend". Josie's extremely social and loves people but her sleep deprivation & disappointment upon finding out that her cousins couldn't join us pushed her over the edge of sanity. I was right there with her & felt like I simply followed her from crisis to crisis all weekend. I was exhausted from all of the diverting & cajoling. I think it was one of my most humiliating experiences as a parent. (Other than that 'pottying in the grass' episode at David & Gudrun's house last year, that is. Although, this is a close 2nd place.)

My sister called yesterday to hear about all of the wedding events & after sharing my stories from my perspective I suggested that she call someone who was there without a 6 year old to find out The Truth. Our $24 small cheese pizza eaten on the sidewalk outside the Magnolia Hotel at 8 O'clock at night because a tantrum forced us to miss the Rehearsal Dinner at the Alley Theater was NOT the highlight of the weekend. I was thinking we'd eat that pizza in our hotel room while watching Monsters Vs Aliens but the buzzing fire alarm that forced an evacuation of the hotel & the booming sirens from the fire engines echoing off of the other skyscrapers just made my head spin & my hands started digging for the Excedrin that was safely tucked into my purse.

Our Friday Night Pizza Entertainment outside the Magnolia Hotel in Houston. My ears are still ringing.

We had looked forward to swimming in the rooftop pool & relaxing in the hot tub but one was too cold & the other scorched our feet so that all we could do was enjoy the blustery wind at 26 stories high. Bribing Josie to walk down the aisle at the wedding turned out okay...she actually completed what she seemed to think was a Death March but only after I promised she could wear her jeans & Old Navy Cupcakes Rock T-shirt to the reception. By then, I was Over It.

Scowling as she waits for dinner to be served at the Reception in her Reward Outfit.

After the too-numerous-to-count tantrums, she ended up dancing the night away at the Reception. Don't you love the outfit? Wonder how many people were saying, "Can't her mother control that girl?"

I had all day Sunday, on our travel day back to Fresno, to determine that I did everything I swore I'd never do as a Parent. I folded under pressure & I'll be spending weeks building back my confidence as a parent. I truly hope that Josie isn't traumatized by my threats & scowls & cursings that were uttered throughout the weekend. The final straw was losing our Boarding Passes in the restroom moments before our scheduled flight. Luckily, Josie's comment brought me back from the edge of insanity when she asked, "Does this mean we'll be living here in this airport for the rest of our lives, Mommy? I hope they have apple juice."

Happy National Day of Writing!!

(I think this is a modern day Fable. Have you figured out the Moral?)

Talents

I've often wished I had some sort of a creative bone in my body. I'm not a scrapbooker, I'm not a stamper, I don't paint, or sew, or have any kind of gift for home decorating, and I'm certainly not a 'fashion girl' as Josie aspires to become. I've tried knitting (thanks, Gudrun!) and want to continue with that since I find it relaxing, but I have an unfinished hat, scarf, & poncho to show for my attempt at developing a creative talent. Any of these talents would probably bring me joy and help me reduce stress in my daily life, but today, I wished I had the talent to work with Irrigation Tools. Actually, every time I have a broken sprinkler, I wish for Irrigation Talent. And, sadly, that happens frequently. Maybe it has to do with my Lawn Mowing & Edging Talent?

I pride myself on being able to do things on my own. According to my parents, I've had that stubborn streak for most of my life. I've always had to 'learn by doing' rather than 'learn from others' mistakes'. In most cases, I've learned a great deal & sometimes suffered a great deal, too. Still, I try to make the best of things & move on, eventually. As a role model for Josie, I notice that I try even harder to show her that women can do anything if we set our minds to it. I don't mind if she witnesses the struggle, especially if she sees the success at the end of the battle. (In many cases, she has also learned some not-so-nice-vocabulary-words but I always apologize afterwards and give her alternative words to use when she's frustrated. So far, she likes "oh, man" but I've heard her use "phooey" a time or two, also.)

Two years ago, our good friends, Marilyn & Doug, gave me a fabulous gift for Christmas: luggage rack bars & a used car top carrier to make our travel & camping trips in a two door car with a carseat & 2 large breed dogs a little less crowded. I LOVE that luggage carrier & someday I'll have to post about all of the great trips it has allowed us to take. (If I had the talent to be a scrapbooker, I would have had some lovely pages of pictures to share from our adventures, but, again, I don't have that talent, so instead you'll have to stay-tuned to my blog.) Long story short, even though Doug offered to help me install them, I spent hours and HOURS trying to put those d#$* racks on the roof of my car. Josie's vocabulary increased ten-fold throughout the day but just as darkness started to impede my ability to curse anymore, I finally figured out how to tighten the latches & Josie & I celebrated loudly! I'll never forget her words, "Someday, when I'm a Mommy like you, I want to put things together, too. Good job!" I still feel badly that she heard my frustration but I'm thrilled that she witnessed my struggle & then helped me hold tools and assisted me as I figured it out on my own. I hope she remembers that lesson more than the vocabulary lesson. Success makes the struggles worthwhile and builds confidence, right?

So, after weeks and weeks of watching patches of my front lawn dry up & die, I finally decided to use today to solve the mystery. With recent temps in the triple digits, I knew I'd need to get an early start, so I set my alarm (on Sunday, a day of rest?) for 6:30 am. I ate a hearty breakfast of Cheerios & sucked down my diet Dr. Pepper caffeine-fix & headed out with my shovel. I had high hopes of fixing the problem, then moving on to house cleaning, followed by grocery shopping. Not a bad To-Do List for a single parent.

Or so I hoped.

The details are ugly so I'll spare you the ramblin---but after digging up 5 holes in very Dry-haven't-seen-rain-since-May-with-triple-digit-temps-and-broken-sprinklers-for-many-weeks Dirt, my hands were blistered & I was reciting (SHOUTING) every single curse word I could remember & tried to make up a few of my own. Digging turned out to be the easy part. Broken risers, broken sprinkler heads, & broken PVC tubing were some of the issues. And out of frustration, there was also that broken shovel & mangled finger that still continues to throb. After six hours of labor and FIVE trips to the Hardware Store for Irrigation Repair 101 Tips from an employee at Cobb's & a sweet elderly woman's instructions at Home Depot, I finally have sprinklers that seem to water most of my lawn. I still don't have much water pressure and some of my Pop-Ups don't pop up but at least the dirt is back in the holes and most of the pvc glue has been picked off of my fingers and hands & I'm pretty sure there are no more rocks in the lines. On Tuesday, when my Automatic Timer goes off, I HOPE to have water coming out of every sprinkler without any more leakage in between. Fortunately, Josie was with her dad all day & didn't add any new words to her mental dictionary. But, I'm definitely going to show her that the sprinklers have water coming out of them when she returns home this week!

I'm not sure if I'll ever develop my talents for creativity or craftiness but since I like to 'live in the moment', my new dream is to acquire Irrigation Talents. I can now view this Tub of Tools with fondness:

(Special Thanks to Bob, for guidance, suggestions, encouragment & humor! Also to Kathee for a delicious Mediterranean Chicken dinner, wine & conversation to help me end the weekend on a positive note. I'm lucky to have such great neighbors & friends & I hope none of them are judging me according to the cursing they heard coming from yard all day.)

Glimpses of Josie Growing Up

Josie's trying hard to grow up faster than I wish.

"I'm too big for princesses, Mom. We should find a little girl that likes princesses & give her all of my stuff." (Then she proceeded to stuff all of her princess clothing, underwear & Princess Paraphernalia into a grocery sack while I stared in bewilderment. I quickly realized that she was cleaning her closet on her own & suddenly didn't feel so sad about this transition.)

"Now that I'm six, I love High School Musical. I'm going to need to go shopping to buy some fashion clothes, okay?" (Now I felt really bewildered...FASHION clothes??? Luckily, she still prefers Target as her favorite place to shop. On my part time teaching salary, that's a HUGE relief.)

Then there was the day I listened as she left this voice message for Grandpa, "Hello Grandpa. This is Josie Wrinkle. When you have time, do you think you could come to my house in California and move my mirror up in my room? It's cutting off my head because I'm in first grade now & I'm really tall." (Grandpa was thrilled to receive such a special invitation & I felt sad, once again, that he lives 2700 miles away.)

The physical changes are somewhat obvious: She lost a top front tooth on the first day of first grade & a week later she lost the other front tooth. She's a perfect Halloween Jack-0-lantern & loves to show off that gappy smile.

She's THRILLED and counting the "sleeps" until Erin's wedding in October because she's going to be the Flower Girl! Just as I predicted in Courage is a Process , Josie is braver now that she's six. It definitely helped to see a photo of the dress she would wear, "Oh, Mom! I'll be beautiful! I really, really, really want to be a flower girl!"

She was speechless and grinning from ear to ear the day the dress arrived & I let her try it on. I had to beg her to stop spinning so I could snap a few photos to send to Erin. (Considering the dress is supposed to be Tea Length, our next step is to find a reasonably priced Seamstress but I can already imagine that toothless grin as she walks down the aisle.)

Just this week she came home and proudly shared her Friday Test scores with me. She gently rubbed her fingers over the old-fashioned foil stars that Mrs. Rail had put next to her 100% scores on her Sight Word Test, Spelling Test & Dictation Sentence. She picked up the packet and put her face next to the stars and whispered, "Ohhhhh...I can't wait for Friday. We get to take tests again, Mommy. First grade is the best!"

Sadly, we've also witnessed that horrible Self Image Challenge that many girls seem to go through. I just didn't realize that it would start so young. "Mom, my legs look too fat. I need to do more exercises to make me look skinny." Or "I don't smile at the bugaboos (her reference to the boys she likes to chase at recess) because they will think I look silly without my teeth."

I know we have our work cut out for us this year as she emerges as a reader & writer but it's her self image that will worry me the most. I can't protect her from all of the hurts she'll experience but I hope to arm her with enough confidence to face the perceived & real judgements she will face as she continues to develop relationships with her peers.

I am so grateful to our friends & my colleagues at school for always keeping a special eye out for Josie & for convincing her that she's appreciated & loved by so many. She feels so at home & confident when she's at school---what a lucky girl to have such a strong start in school!

Can't Resist Those Josieisms

"It's really hard to be six, Mom. I just can't keep my angries in all the time. It makes my belly hurt really bad so I have to scream sometimes. I'm sorry."

"My hair is too hot. I can have Princess hair when it's winter. Let's cut it off so I don't have to be so sweaty."

"I think I look just like Mrs. McClelland now. I love being so beautiful!"

"When I'm seven, can I wear Fashion shoes every day?"

"I'm going to be just like Curious George now that I have a trophy."

"I can't wait to go see my cousins! In 36 sleeps I'll be really spoiled. But I'll still talk nice to you, Mom, and I'll probably still snuggle you."

"I already ate dinner. I had a cucumber slice & a celery & 'nem an ems for dessert. Don't go cookin' anything for me."

"I've had too much sleep so quit telling me I'm tired. My brain is so full of sleep that it's blank!"

Sidenote: Josie's mom thinks that Six is going to be a very interesting year.