Thanksgiving Traditions

I love Thanksgiving! It's always been my favorite holiday---filled with memories of large family gatherings at my grandparent's farm or an aunt or uncle's house. Coming from a large extended family where I'm one of 32 grandchildren on my mom's side and one of 19 grandchilden on my dad's side, there was always excitement surrounding the holidays or any family gathering, for that matter.

I looked forward to them as a child, took them for granted as an adolescent, and enjoyed the reconnecting as a 20-something. My friends always enjoyed hearing the stories and just couldn't imagine what those large gatherings entailed. Almost always, there were trips to the Emergency Room, teasing & taunting among the cousins, chasing cows down the lane to creek, tying someone to a tree/post/tractor, loud euchre card games between the aunts/uncles, pipe smoking by Grandpa, way too much food & bottled sodas, games of Kick the Can, hay forts, Ouji Board frights, fighting over who would get to sit on furniture and who would plop down on the laminate-tiled floor, living room tag in the snow/rain, and most certainly...laughter---and a lot of it!

As we got older, Thanksgiving rotated between aunts & uncles homes and that always meant sleepovers. Who doesn't love sleepovers with their cousins? Again...fighting over beds, best positioning of the sleeping bags, who would get a pillow and who would suffer without, laughing and giggling until the wee hours and knowing that no one cared because there were serious card games going on that no child could interrupt. I remember waking in the middle of the night to raid the olive jars (and later to steal the beer or sample Grandpa's homemade cherry wine) and then playing 'stupid' when an aunt would wonder why we had no olives (or beer or cherry wine)for dinner on Thanksgiving afternoon. Grandma's homemade cinnamon rolls or donuts for breakfast, jello salads, & staying in our pajamas until we were forced to 'go outside and get some fresh air'.I'll forever miss seeing the back sides of all of my aunts fighting for counter space as they cleaned up the dinner mess---little did they know that there were a couple of cousins hiding under the large kitchen table listening to the chatter & gossip.

I am so thankful for the large extended family that continues to sustain us and to remind me of the most important gifts: spending time with those we love. Those memories have helped me to create the loving & playful traditions that I share with Josie and our friends in Fresno.

Now that I'm living across the country from my large extended family, I still have that nostalgic feeling about Thanksgiving. I still love it and while I'll never re-create that crowd or be able to reproduce those menus, I watched as my daughter soaked up and savored every moment of our Thanksgiving today. I joyfully realized that she's making some of her own favorite memories. She, too, was looking forward to Thanksgiving and made a list of the people she knew would gather at our house. She knew there'd be that "old dead turkey" to eat, that Paige, Brian & Marsha would come with food, and she knew there'd be games to play and lots of giggling to do. She was thrilled to have both of her parents together for Thanksgiving this year and we all delighted in her energy and excitement.

Josie spent all day giggling and when I was cleaning up in the kitchen she hurried in quickly, grabbed my legs and said, "I have to tell you something, Mommy!" When I leaned down for the inevitable whisper, she pressed her nose to my nose, gave me a big hug and said, "I love Thanksgiving!" She ran out as quickly as a flash (I suppose to make sure she didn't miss out on any opportunities to laugh?) but it left me feeling so proud of the traditions we've created.

I wonder which memories Josie will share some day?

(Finger nail painting, Parcheesi, I Spy, gummy bear cake, Guessture tournaments, passing flatus, 'old dead turkeys', Tripoli, poker, being with people who love her?)

Cleaning Closets

Well...I did it.

I finished cleaning out my closets---a chore I've been dreading for some time. I do this a few times each year but yesterday I was in the mood to purge. I finally got rid of some things that I was hanging on to 'just in case'.

I've lived in Fresno for seven years---in many ways it's flown by and in some ways I feel like a newbie to the area and to this life. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since I spent most of my adult life in Columbus, surrounded by family, friends, places & memories that I created over a 25 year span. When I think of it that way, maybe I've done a pretty good job of settling in, as much as I have, to this life in Fresno. I still remember the first time I flew to Fresno after a visit in Ohio and actually felt like I was returning to 'my home'. This is Josie's home and therefore, it is my home.

So, yesterday I finally got rid of my winter coat, shoe & boot, and sweater collections. I almost took photos of the items before I put them into donation bags, knowing that most of my current colleagues would never believe me if I told them about my heels, sandals, pumps & various colors of each type of shoe. (In all, I tossed 32 shoe/boot boxes!!) I looked over each pair carefully and could think of stories & events that occured while wearing those shoes. I tried on a few and wondered how I had ever fit my foot in the shoe, much less wore them for a full day of teaching or a night out. The skirts/dresses are long gone so it was time to say good-bye to those shoes. Wish I could trade them in for a nice comfy pair of Born's, sneakers, Crocs, or Birks.

I had a coat fetish when I was single, working full time, and had a budget that included personal clothing items. I had all types of winter coats & jackets of various styles, colors & lengths. Let's face it...NOT necessary in Fresno. I figure there are Tent City people and other economically challenged thrift shoppers that'll benefit from my newly donated coat collection, not to mention the sweaters that I finally purged.

In the process of cleaning closets I also came upon some sentimental items that I spent time enjoying as I wiped tears of sadness & joy from my eyes. I saved those pieces, thinking that Josie will someday appreciate them and hoping that I can share stories with her about those special family members and friends---people who don't even know of her existence, and yet they have had a profound impact on our lives.

I'm not sure if the purging means I've made room for more memories & things, or if I'm still in a transition phase of becoming myself. I realized I'm not the same person I was 7 or 8 years ago when I lived in Ohio, in that other life that didn't include fog, part time work, being divorced or being a single 'Mom' to Josie. I left behind parts of myself to make room for new, and while I miss those 'purged parts', I'm beginning, once again, to make room for different/new experiences. I still have no idea what that means, exactly, but at least I'm making room.

Experts say that it takes a minimum of 3 years to truly grieve for things we've lost. I'm probably a little slow (or maybe I've had some distractions) but this month is an anniversary of sorts for me. Four years ago this month Ray moved out, my first rescued dog, Morgan, had to be put down due to cancer, my loving & generous grandmother (Josie's namesake) died at the young age of 95, and I was still recovering from my first round of radiation treatment for thyroid cancer & a miscarriage. Pretty big list of things to grieve but here I am four years later finding that "life is about change and change is good."

Cleaning closets is challenging work!

The famous Tooth Bag!

"The Tooth Fairy" By Josie

It's official...Josie lost that first wiggly tooth and I'm well aware that this is a yet another sign that I'm old.

We had to run across the street to show Ben, Abby, Michele & Bob immediately because she knew they would want to see her new smile.

"She's about this small," she says as she holds up her thumb and forefinger to about two inches tall. When Bob tried to translate that to "If she's only this big, how can she carry a quarter?" Josie quickly corrected him, "She's not 'this big', she's 'this small. Geez..."

Before going to bed I heard a much more detailed description:

"She's just beautiful, you know. She has the prettiest fairy clothes and she has peach skin and these teeny tiny slippers that have little bitty ribbons but not the bumpy kind, the shiny kind. She has long long hair but you can't see it all because she wears a pony tail so the hair doesn't blow in her face when she flies. She flies fast, you know. I have to be careful not to squish her when she gives me my quarter. She is really strong because she can carry quarters without dropping them. I think she's going to show my tooth to all of her fairy friends and it will live in the forest and they will climb on my tooth like it's a rock in Oh-semitee. They like to have lots of rocks to climb so they take everyone's tooths when they come out."

Ben told her it's pretty small so it's probably worth about twenty five cents and Josie agreed that sounds about right. She held onto it all night and carefully put it under her pillow. She wanted to skip dinner but I told her the Tooth Fairy might be scared away by her growling belly if she didn't eat. She quickly scarfed down her dinner and couldn't wait to get in bed tonight.

These simple milestones seem so incredible to me. I love the delight and wonder I see in her eyes as she uses her imagination to try to create an image of the Tooth Fairy. I want to hold on to these magical moments forever.

The Gardener

I've been informed (by The Gardener) that I didn't show enough pictures of my Gardener helping me with our treasure. And truly, she IS my favorite part of the entire process so she should be center stage!

This afternoon she told me that plants like to hear singing and watch some dancing so she provided the free therapy session:

Winter Garden Diary

1 September: Seeds Sown


5 September: Sprouts!


2 October: (most) Seeds Flourishing


19 October: Transplant Starter Plants to the Ground (Nail biting worry: will they make it?)


26 October: One Week's Progress in the Ground (so far, so good!)


1 November: Looking Healthy 61 Days Post Seed Sowing!




Clearly, Josie's seeing signs of Fall in Fresno:
"Look, Mom! Our oranges are orangin' up!"

Halloween: Pumpkin Patch & Trick or Treat

Josie's class went to the Cobb Pumpkin Patch for Halloween and her dad was able to go along. He was in charge of Josie & Grace and it seems the girls kept him on his toes.



Josie's class seemed to have a great time, even if it did turn chilly this week.


No more kitties, no more brides...we've moved on to cheerleader this year. Oh my.